Kim made this picture of me one evening at the Arboretum at Penn State. I thought it appropriate for this post.
There comes a point where training and experience yield to human nature. Or more pointedly: human failure. The world of the demon that whispers of appropriate action and choice. Viewed later, from the comfort of an armchair with a cup of Earl Grey tea, choices can seem positively stupid. And so we begin.
Perhaps there's no more honest reflection of a person's true character than on the road where masks and facades seem to shed easily. Employers wanting to know who they are hiring should conduct interviews in a car and have applicants drive them on errands through a few frustrating locations to see who emerges.
If asked how I would describe myself as a rider (or driver) I would say calm, relaxed, slow. Arriving at work and parking on a quiet summer campus definitely helps support those feelings and while generally true I have my moments. The demon whispers and I do things that are less than intelligent.
On my way to Barnes and Noble last week on I was reacquainted with weakness. Traveling along on a busy stretch of four lane road I could seen a silver SUV weaving through traffic in my mirror. I wondered why they were in such a hurry. They'll just end up sitting at the next traffic light. I don't remember the demon whispering but I was gauging opportunities to educate the SUV driver. I'm in the left lane on the Vespa slowly approaching a car in the left lane. Traffic is moving around 35mph. The SUV has just moved into the right hand lane in a bid to pass me on and then swing around the car. Not far ahead is a traffic light. As if I am in a chess game I adjust the throttle to move ahead a bit faster. A man in the SUV approaches quickly still hoping to pass me. He's closing on the bumper of the car trying to decide if he can get between the car and the Vespa. There's room but just barely. My fingers have crawled over the brake levers. And just as it seems he's going to try the car's brake lights come on and we're all stopped at the traffic light.
My brain hasn't recognized how stupid or dangerous game I'm playing. I'm teaching now, providing someone else with an opportunity to see the error of his driving ways. Where does this kind of thinking come from? I'm not riding through the woods or stopping to make a picture in a stand of pines. I'm in fantasy world.
The light changes and we're all off. I move a bit faster than the car and when it seems I'll pass the car the SUV swings in behind me. The car keeps accelerating and begins moving ahead. The SUV swings back right hoping to get past everyone as he drives just inches from the car in front of him. The gap widens slowly. I can see his eyes flashing in his side mirror, his brain working to calculate the space needed to pass as the car suddenly slows and I move up ahead. The car speeds up again and I wonder if he is playing this game too. Or maybe he's just suggesting the SUV get off his ass. Or for me to get the hell out of the game.
All this has happened in less than a mile. The SUV is again right on the bumper of the car willing him to speed up. I sense something is about to happen and move left in my lane and roll off the throttle slightly. The SUV explodes left, passes the car, and veers back to the right lane, hits the brakes and immediately turns off the road and into a McDonalds parking lot. I look over and see the driver queue up for the drive up window. He was obviously not the brain surgeon on his way to emergency surgery that I sometimes use to excuse reckless behavior on the road.
Notice it's all about the other guy.
This brings me to my point. The behavior of other drivers is not something for me to fix. They are a changing constant on the road to be managed and nothing else. Education and justice is the realm of others. Nothing anyone does is an excuse for me to listen to the demon. What would I have lost by letting the SUV pass?
One morning on the way to work I stopped to pick up a sandwich for lunch. Standing on the sidewalk I saw my scooter reflected against the Karate Kid poster and it got me thinking about practice and learning. I need to do some further work as a rider.
Thankfully, the event is atypical and not a pattern. But even once is too many. As I grow as a rider I'm learning that the attitude I bring to the road is just as important as the technical skills. For me, dismissing the demon is the place to improve my riding.
Have you conquered the demon?
Summer is not my favorite season to ride. Heat, sweat, and abundant vehicles on the road just makes me tired. Mentally and physically. Judging by the number of motorcycles and scooters out this time of year I suspect my dis-embrace of summer puts me in the riding minority.
A ride to Bellefonte to have breakfast with a friend feels ordinary. The passing clouds, beautiful in themselves, don't trigger the same reactions as rain, fog, cold or a heavy, gray landscape. I should learn to be grateful for the day I suppose regardless of the package it arrives in.
Maybe if I were more social summer would be different. Stopping after work at the neighborhood chocolate store I consider the riders sitting outside at Duffy's Tavern. They don't look tired. I make a note and move on to purchase something to accompany my evening tea.
A stop at the grocery store on the way home from work. It's hot and I have more groceries than I can easily pack in and on the Vespa. There is a whole roasted chicken in a big plastic container. Had to have that. And four more bags. I'm hot and I'm tired as I begin to solve the packing puzzle.
